(NOT-SO-CLEVER) FELLA LOCKED HIMSELF TO A CHAIR TO QUIT SMOKING, THEN LOST THE KEY. DID YOU QUIT? WHAT TRICKS DID YOU USE?

The blotter is derived from recent central dispatch records and incident reports of area police agencies.

Wise County Sheriff's Office

April 30

A Coeburn woman reported "rescue" was needed for her next door neighbor, who had fallen on his porch. EMS arrived to the subject, "handcuffed himself so he could not smoke a cigarette." The handcuffs were too tight, causing swelling, and the man had lost the key to unlock the restraints. Ambulance personnel rcalled for police assistance — adding the man requested someone pull up his pants. Give him credit for trying! ~ Dan