I never liked first dates. Even when they went well, there was this constant worry that maybe things wouldn't go as well next time. What do I wear? Where should we go? Should I pay for my meal or let him pay for all of it? Do I shave my legs? What if I can't stand him? What if he smells? WHAT IF? Thankfully I haven't had to go on a first date in over a dozen years, but I've recently realized that every outing with my toddler, Presley runs the risk of being very similar to a terrible first date. From the risk of embarrassment to the awkward conversations, here are some of the reasons I stress about outings with my little bundle almost as much as I worried about those first dates. Click through for 7 things toddlers and first dates have in common
Are you going to get the charming person who smiled at you from your computer screen, or will you land yourself with an unpredictable, terribly cranky, impossible to please date? WHO KNOWS?
High Likelihood for Extreme Embarrassment
I was on a first date years ago when a woman stormed into the restaurant and began yelling at my date. Turns out, the woman was his mother and he had failed to mow the lawn. She was FURIOUS. She dragged him out, leaving me alone with the bill and all eyes on me. Six years ago I was taking care of some personal business in a Chicago airport restroom with a toddler corralled in the stall with me. After a minute, I suddenly realized my toddler had swung the bathroom door wide open to a whole line of women waiting to use the restroom. My pants were around my ankles and my pride was down the toilet.
Have an Emergency Out
We've all had friends call to check on us during a questionable first date, and it's nice to know you have an emergency out just in case. Get stuck with a toddler? There's a chance you may have to cut and run. I've abandoned many a full shopping cart when an outing went from pleasant to hairy. The article below was written by a girl named Casey Mullins and it's dead on..so I thought Id share it with you!!
I fart when I'm really nervous. I spent a lot of time suppressing the urge to toot in front of my partner on our first date. I liked him a lot, and the butterflies in my stomach wreaked havoc on my tender digestive system. When you're out with a toddler there's double the bodily functions to keep track of, whether they're still in diapers or potty training.
Everything Revolves Around Food
Meeting for coffee, going out to dinner, grabbing lunch - there are many different ways to approach a first date and almost all of them involve food at some point. No matter where you go with a toddler or for how long, food will somehow be involved. Whether it's the snacks packed away deep in your bag just in case or a quick stop at the Target cafe for a bag of popcorn, food is essential. Don't believe me? Forget snacks and your wallet when you're out with your toddler, and watch all Hell break loose.
I think this one is totally self explanatory from the point of view of a first date. As for the toddler comparison? Vivi's favorite thing to say is "MAMA POO-POO! MAMA POOOOOOO! MAMA POOP! POOP POOP POOP!" (I blame her older sister for this one). She also likes to call every man "daddy" and every kid under 15 a "baby." No really, it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable at all. After all, everybody poops and everyone is somebody's baby.
A Chance at True Love
There are some outings with toddlers that go perfectly. They are charming, well behaved, and we have an amazing time. No fits are thrown, no snacks are spilled, and no tears are shed. They're the rare reward outings for all the ones that go so terribly wrong. As with dating, some first dates I will remember forever, while others, well, I'd like to forget those ever happened.