I went on one springbreak my whole college career just to say that I did...was it worth it? eh...but I'm glad I can say I actually did it. Ladies, here are the top 8 guys you WILL meet on springbreak...I promise! Especially this first one...I met one the first night I was there!
The Underage Guy Who He Is: The high school senior who somehow wrangled a chaperon-free trip from his parents and has chosen his spring break locale based on the lenience of local drinking-age laws. His primary goals are to get wasted, lose his virginity and bring back stories that'll make him a legend to the sophomores and juniors.
The Slightly Menacing Guy Who He Is: Who are his friends? You’ll never quite know, because he’s a solo operator. He will join your group of revelers with aggressive grunting sounds and he may stick around for a while. He doesn’t mean any harm, really -- it’s just that the only way he knows how to express himself when he’s excited is to sound like he wants to fight a dude.
The Local Guy Who He Is: This guy waits all year for the two weeks people with lives descend on his town. Out of shape, older and less stylish than the rest of the partygoers, he’s easy to spot and is usually found standing next to a motorcycle, which indicates he actually lives there.
The Rich Kid Who He Is: He’s the dude you love to be friends with. Why? Because he’s your access to the best spring break of your life. He has a friend whose name starts with “Sir,” and he’s known for buying an extra bottle of Veuve so that he can drink one himself and spray the other around the club. Only caveat? He’s generous to a "T" because he can afford to be and makes you look cheap in comparison.
The Outdoorsman Who He Is: While you’re partying your face off, he's a few miles down the beach perfecting his kitesurfing technique. And when you meet up with him later, he tells you all about how, despite the kite and board being too small, and the wind too wimpy, it was epic.
The Sh*t Disturber Who He Is: He’s always the last one to pass out -- not because he stays sober but because he makes sure he stays up long enough to smear peanut butter all over your face.
The Girl Who Only Has Guy Friends Who She Is: She seems super chill and down-to-earth. What chick who can ace a keg stand and keep up with the boys isn’t? Thing is, as soon as you and your friends stop challenging her to hock a loogey farther than you in order to pay attention to the group of cute girls at the bar, she’s gonna throw a tantrum so bad you’ll wish you had never agreed to bring her along.
The Freerider Who He Is: When the check comes, he's always in the bathroom or finding issue with splitting the bill in half because he didn’t order the guacamole. When you’re grilling, he eats faster than everyone else and goes back for thirds, but doesn’t put in as much cash as everyone else because he “paid for the last round the night before.