I guess today I'm just going to give dating advice to the ladies! :) Just an FYI to everyone...I never dated a divorced man, these findings are from research and case studies!
1. She’s on Facebook. In this day and age, the briefest jaunt through Facebook reveals significant portions of who this woman is: What she looks like, what parts of herself she likes to advertise. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself.
2. He dumped her. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me?” You’ll have to manage her continued pining, her continued pursuit. You’ll have to manage the frequency of her calls, the hours at which she makes them . And if she dumped him? Forget it. That’s even worse. You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her.
3. He’s traumatized. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. You will see him see old photos, you will see him cry or scream or fume or mourn. You will see him feel like he failed. And – lest it bears mention – this is all as much fun as… well, imagine shredding a carrot, tying all those carrot shreds together, then threading the long, thin carrot they’ve become through your sinuses till they pop out of your mouth. I do believe that whole routine would be more fun that than which I’ve described above.
1. He knows how to communicate. A guy who’s lived with a woman for a significant period of time has a pretty good sense of what to say and when to say it. Let’s say you’re trying on a dress, and you ask his opinion. He knows to say, “I’m not sure it does your figure justice,” in lieu of, “Eww! Jesus! That looks gross.”
2. He knows how to compromise. If you’re boyfriend’s divorced, you can be 99 percent sure he’s lived with someone else for a while and has a solid understanding of shared space as a result. He understands the closet isn’t his and his alone, he understands he doesn’t always get control of the TV. And seeing as how teaching a man these lessons is akin to herding stray cats, this is a valuable attribute to luck into.
3. He’s learned from his mistakes. This isn’t a given. But it is likely, and it’s wonderful. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle. A divorce is a horrible thing to be sure, but from what I’ve observed, it’s also pretty humbling. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ll take a humble guy with failed marriage over some arrogant guy who’s never settled down any day of the week. I’ll take him, and I’ll work to be patient when his ex-wife makes her weekly call.