1. The over-anxious, fireworks-obsessed host
  How to spot them: He/she is the one dressed very nicely, hovering over hors   d'oeuvres, looking at the clock frantically as though there's some way (some   way!!) you'll miss midnight. Side note: No one ever overlooks midnight on New   Year's Eve. This person is probably insane.
  How to approach: Slowly and with a smile. It'll smooth their nerves — for   two minutes.
  What to say: First, compliment them on the party. It's fun. Second, offer to   help usher the group to a designated countdown spot — a rooftop deck, a   TV screen, whatever. Third, slap them if they become hysterical.

  2. The one who only wants to talk about football
  How to spot them: Is "SportsCenter" on? They're watching.
  How to approach: Don't speak if they're watching highlights. Stand close (but   not too close), watch with them and listen to their feelings. They want someone   to listen to their feelings.
  What to say: Do a little research on the big bowl games, but ignore the weird   ones like the Home Depot Lumber Bowl. If they bring up the obscure bowls, pretend   to take a phone call.

  3. The one who's already drunk
How to spot them: They're drunk.
  How to approach: With a group. There's nothing worse than being caught alone   (and non-drunk) with a drunk person at a party
  What to say: "Happy New Year!" and that's all.

4. The braggart
  How to spot them: They have a sly smile, a self-important look and are likely   talking someone's ears off about a promotion, a vacation or how this year was   the best ever but next year will really be freaking awesome.
  How to approach: Don't.
  What to say: We told you not to approach, but if you get caught try either of   these: 1) A simple congratulations or 2) Create a more interesting 2012 tale.   You went scuba diving with a Cousteau relative, perhaps. Or invented a handy   kitchen gadget.

5. The whiner
How to spot them: They don't look like they want to be there.
  How to approach: Bring them a drink or a plate of food, introduce yourself and   prepare to listen to how sucky their year was.
  What to say: "I'm sorry your beagle died and Christy at work was annoying   this year and Obama got re-elected, but 'Star Trek into Darkness' comes out   May 17!"

  6. The overly affectionate couple
  How to spot them: Too. Much. Kissing. And. Cuddling.
  How to approach: Look, we're a sap about love. And these people are probably   spending their first New Year's Eve together as a couple. But you've got to   have a significant other (or at least) a friend with you if you want to engage   this duo. They only see things in two.
  What to say: Talk to each one separately — and talk about non-relationship   things such as work, the environment and the stock market. If they start answering   together with "Well, WE ...." then slowly back away.

7. The one who wants to be kissed
  How to spot them: They look like Charlie Brown.
  How to approach: Wait until midnight.
  What to say: Nothing. Just a kiss on the cheek. After all, everyone deserves   this on New Year's Eve.