Dear Abby,
 
I was introduced to this guy by friends and things have been going really well.  We've been having fun hanging out for about three months, but am not sure where our relationship stands....we haven't even kissed yet.  I know every relationship is different, and I know he hasn't been in a relationship in quite some time.  I don't know if he just wants to take things slow or if he is just as nervous as I am.  I want to ask him where he sees our relationship going because I don't want to waste my time, but I don't want him to think that I'm being overbearing.  I'm usually pretty upfront with guys, but I think I like this guy more than other guys I've dated in the past and I don't want to to push him away.  Do you have any advice as far as bringing up the subject while not seeming to force things or should I just let things keep going the way they are and hope that he'll eventually open up to me?  Your advice is greatly appreciated!
 
Confused in GB

Dear Confused,

Here's the deal. I have too many friends that are afraid to have "the talk" with their "maybe boyfriends". It's necessary. If you let them use you for their convenience, they'll never commit. I'm not saying give him an ultimatum, but let him know that you're not there for his pleasure only. You have feelings and concerns too and they need to be addressed. Remember, there is a difference between giving him time to warm up to the idea and letting things go as they are now. Bring it up casually when JUST THE TWO OF YOU are hanging out and be mature about it. That's all you can do and if he reacts negatively, then maybe you need to find someone who is more ready for a relationship.