A guy named Jack Holden decided that before passing away he would write his own obituary - a comical, tongue-in-cheek look at his own life.
Apparently he wrote the obituary a few years before passing away and it’s now getting its 15 minutes of fame:
Here’s the obituary:
John E. Holden, alias Jack, took the Deep Six, Monday, May 27, 2013 at the Willow Valley Retirement Community after a life filled with endless laughter and debauchery. While flying his beloved Corsair as a Marine Fighter Pilot during WWII, he was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross for his combat activities, the Air Medal for action in Okinawa in 1945 and the Distinguished Fleeing Cross for avoiding numerous women who were seeking child support under unproven circumstances.
After WWII he spent eight years with the Armstrong Cork Company and resigned with the title of Assistant Director of Advertising plus a dinky pension. He then joined the Hubley Toy Company and later became an independent toy designer.
He was a longstanding member of the Lancaster Country Club, the Hamilton Club and the International Mickey Mouse Club from which he was immediately banned after providing housing for a number of stray cats.
Jack was widowed ten years ago after sixty-one years of marriage to Elaine Ewing Holden. He has had a number of other wives recently, none of which were his. Three daughters, Holly, Wendy and Anne Holden and a son, John E. Holden, Jr. have managed to survive despite being related to their father. His last words were "I'm really going to miss myself."
Stay tuned for the "Gone Away" party to which the invitation may never come.