Trick or treat, what is that! Sure, Halloween is great, 99% of the time. And even though you're probably too old for trick-or-treating now, you have fond memories of going door-to-door, asking neighbors for a sackful of sugary treats. How could that go wrong? When you got stuff in your bag such as...
How 'bout we worry about our oral hygiene, and they worry about cramming our sacks full of sticky candy bars.
2. School Supplies
If we're not careful, we're going to mistake that pink eraser top for a Good & Plenty.
3. Loose Change
Do we like look Coinstar machines? Bartenders are offended when people give them pennies and nickels, and so are we.
Thanks for the thought, but unless it's a coupon for free candy, forget it.
5. Fruit And Nuts
This is Halloween, not an opportunity to diet. If we receive fruits or nuts, they better be surrounded by a layer of nougat.
6. Wax Teeth
Funny for a second, inedible for the rest of time. You wouldn't consume a scented candle, would you?
7. Old-Timey Candy
Hey, grandpa, how 'bout something from this century? What the heck are we supposed to do with your pile of salt-water taffy and rock-hard caramel?
8. Religious Tracts
Don't worry, we're not really ghosts and devils; we just want some freaking Sweet Tarts. Our teeth are rotting, not our souls. Save your fervor for Christmas.