"Pam Anderson, she's a little top-heavy."
– Olympic speedskater and former Dancing with the Stars winner Apolo Anton Ohno, sizing up the latest contestants of DWTS, on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno
"He loves the hairy legs, and if Sid likes the hairy legs, there you go."
– Oscar nominee Mo'Nique, on husband Sidney Hicks embracing her decision to not shave, on the Barbara Walters's pre-Oscar interview special
"This is what 7 lbs., 11oz. of California dynomite looks like!"
– Jim Carrey, Tweeting about the birth of his new grandson, Jackson Riley Santana
"I don't want people to know how I am in bed. Well, I guess it could have been a lot worse. My phone is ringing off the hook, I have to say."
– Jessica Simpson, making light of former beau John Mayer's comparison of her to "sexual napalm", on The Oprah Winfrey
"I don't think an Emmy or an Oscar is significant enough for them. I think they deserve a Nobel Peace Prize…If we get into some mix up with Iran do you want to send Obama in or 'The Situation'?"
– Dax Shepard, expressing his admiration for the cast of The Jersey Shore on Lopez Tonight
"Do you dabble in music 'cause you were worried you weren't going to get laid enough?"
– Jon Stewart, questioning Robert Pattinson's foray into music, on The Daily Show
"After about seven times of hanging up on Akon...he said 'I want you to come to Atlanta, you remind me of me, a little darker but you still remind me of me and I want to sign you.'"
– T-Pain, recalling the shock of receiving his music break after he'd just picked up a job application at McDonald's, on Lopez Tonight
"Even Lady Gaga can be celibate."
– Lady Gaga, declaring her single status, to U.K.'s Mirror
"I'm sure if he could breast-feed, he would have."
– Catherine Zeta-Jones, illustrating husband Michael Douglas's involvement in raising their two children Dylan, 9, and Carys, 6, to Vanity Fair
"You got Bieber fever…By the way, your life is not going to get any better than this right now. This is it."
– Jimmy Kimmel, to the 3-year-old YouTube sensation known as "Crying Cody," after she met her heartthrob, Justin Bieber, on Kimmel's late show